A day at sea means little more than eating, drinking and lazing. Which is nice.

After dinner we head to Crooners Bar on Deck 6 and score two seats at the bar. This turns out to be a risky move as Richard, head bartender, rarely serves the drink you order. Instead he will yell ‘boring’ before presenting you with another drink he thinks you will prefer – and he’s inevitably right.

Top tip: Do not order a ‘Dirty Banana’ from Richard – this is guaranteed to make him yell ‘Boring!’

Later we head down to the Princess Theatre. Tonight I made the mistake of submitting a terrible joke / question for the celebrity cooking show in the main theatre. On the plus side, I got to eat an inch-thick porterhouse steak and deep fried squid cooked by John Torode, so there is that.

Oslo tomorrow.